by Rev. Gina Johnson
Back in the 16th century, masquerade balls started in Italy, and by the 18th century, they were very popular. There were a variety of reasons people attended these masquerade balls, but one was the opportunity to be submersed in the social hierarchy and not have to go along with any of the rules of the social hierarchy. Because everyone wore a mask, you were free to come in there and not necessarily fit in the class of the people you were standing around talking to. It didn't matter, because you had that mask on, and you could bring forth whatever personality you wanted. Another reason that people did them was specifically just that secrecy, that anonymity that they wanted to have, so they could go to the masquerade ball, and they could even choose to hold their tongue the whole evening and just participate and have that mystery.
Of course, that leads to that aspect of romance and drama that comes into the masquerade balls, which we've seen portrayed in storybooks and on TV. And then, of course, there's also that comedy side of things, where you could get away with a lot at a masquerade event, because not everyone knows who you are. This was an opportunity to participate in an evening of being masked, of being caught up in the fun or the mystery, the intrigue, the opportunity to be richer than you are, to be more knowledgeable than you are, to be whoever you are behind that mask.
My question is, how many masquerade balls are you attending in your daily life? How many masks are you wearing? How many masks do you even have? You know, it's interesting, because on some levels, I never even thought about myself as an individual who has a certain facade. I like to say, you know, who you get in the pulpit is who you get in the world. Same thing, kids, who I am at home is who I am when I'm outside of the house.
But the more that I began to get to know myself in this past two and a half, three years, I realized that there are a lot of places where I'm throwing on a particular mask. And it brings me to wonder, why? Why do we wear masks? And we all do. You can say, “Oh, no, I don't. No, I don't.” Okay. Well, if you're willing to track your life and the things you say and who you say them to for the next week and come back and tell me that you still don't wear masks at all, then I will humbly say, “You are right. I was wrong.”
But I'll tell you, we wear masks because there's always a little something. Always is a big word. There are many cases where there's a little something that's really driven by our fears, our insecurities, our desires to fit in, that we don't allow ourselves to fully be ourselves. And sometimes we put on masks in a way that people tell little white lies. The mask is there to protect us.
We don't have to say or do anything we don't want to. The mask may be an excuse. The mask may be an illusion of feeling better than you actually are.
The mask may be when you're committing to something that you really don't want to be committed to. And we throw on those masks. One of the masks that we wear has to do with being afraid of being rejected.
So a little bit of children's story time. There was this very beautiful butterfly, and her name was Luna. And Luna had these beautiful colors all over her, and as she flew all around, she was admired greatly.
Well, actually, Luna's wings were gray and discolored. But no one ever knew, because when that started to happen, she began to mask her wings in these vibrant colors. And then one day, she was out flying, and the wind got so strong that it stripped her mask away. And she immediately went to a tree to hide. As the gray and the dull was coming forth, she thought, “I'm going to be rejected. People aren't going to look at me the same. When I fly around, no one's going to care that I'm even there. And now they're going to know that I've been hiding this whole time.” And the tree took the time to tell her that your authentic self, your true self, is the greatest sign of beauty and strength, that you don't need to hide behind all those colors, because when you are your true self, the gray is no longer seen. The colorful beauty of who you are is reflected for all to see.
Luna was afraid of rejection. How many times do we put on a smile? Do we answer that question of, “Hey, how are you? Oh, good, good. How are you doing? Good? All right.”
How many times are we afraid to share what's really going on? Because someone may not understand. Someone may reject us. Someone may look at us like, what's wrong with you? How is that bothering you? Is that even a thing? It's amazing the stories that we tell in our heads.
Another mask we wear is that mask of insecurity. I mean, many of us have probably heard a story or seen a movie where someone has a scarred face and so they hide behind a mask.
You know, there is a story of a young boy in a village who always wore a mask because he had bad scars on his face. And one day, his grandfather told him, “You're so silly to do that. You're not giving anyone an opportunity to get to know you, to ask about you, to understand you. And if you would allow yourself permission to let people know you, you would see that there are far more opportunities without that mask than with it.”
And he did. He took off his mask slowly but surely in more places. And before you knew it, yes, there were the stares. But then there were the questions. There were the people who were eager to know this young man beyond the scars on his face.
How many scars do we have that have healed, that have been long gone, but because the scar is there, we're still holding on to the event behind it. Whether it was traumatic, whether it was painful, whether it left a lasting mark from childhood to now, the point is we're past it. But sometimes we can't help but let that scar label us and determine who we are. And again, we're putting on a mask.
Another reason that we wear a mask is because we like to keep the peace. And so I can remember times early on in my relationship with Travis where his family would want to get together and do something. And they would go to Travis and say, “Hey, this is what we want to do.” And Travis would say, “Well, let me check with the wife.”
Boy, the wife never liked that reply because then at the end of it, I was always the bad guy. I was like, “Hey, you're not allowed to do that anymore.” And then he would tell me, “It's just I don't like confrontation.”
You know, isn't that the truth for so many people? We don't want to get into a heated conflict. We don't want confrontation. And so we nod and we smile or we make up a little white lie so we don't have to be present to whatever that is.
Confrontation, we're the ones who've determined that it's a negative word. Same with criticism, same with conflict. You know, if we can just embrace the true reason behind why we do or don't want to do something. And if we can make sure we function from a place of love, it really is okay to say, “Mom and dad, thank you for that invitation. But we're going to pass this time. We'll figure it out for the next time.” And that's such an easy example.
But aren't there so many times where someone will ask us something or someone want to know our thoughts or our opinions and right away we'll button up and we'll come up with an excuse or say, “Oh, we don't talk about that here.” Or “Yeah, whatever you want to do, it's fine.” It's always funny when you talk about keeping the peace. Such a silly one.
But it's like a, “Hey, where do you want to eat?” “Oh, I don't care. Where do you want to eat?” And then someone names a place and it becomes, “Oh, you really want to eat there?” “Well, I thought you just said you didn't care.”
I'm telling you, the masks we wear. In Ephesians, it says this: What this adds up to then is this. No more lies, no more pretense. Tell your neighbor the truth. In Christ's body, we're all connected to each other after all. When you lie to others, you end up lying to yourself.
On Wednesdays at noon, we meet for a small group. And I want to tell you, we get some really deep, fun, engaging conversations. In that group the other day, we were talking about letting your yes be yes and your no being no. And it's amazing how much is involved in that Bible teaching itself. Why is it when someone asks us to do something that sometimes we say yes, but our yes isn't just a yes?
It's a yes if you will do this, this, and this. It's a yes, but in my mind, I'm not saying this out loud, but when I get there, boy, do I have expectations, or that may be the last yes you ever get. Or sometimes people say no, and it's no, I would, but, and then you feel the need to give an excuse that may not even be a valid excuse.
Let your yes be yes and your no be no. When you say yes to things, make sure you're taking off that mask and saying it for the right reason. Don't ever say yes expecting something to change because you have it in your mind.
If you're saying yes, I will if, then how genuine is your yes? And if that is so important to you, then make sure you share it. Otherwise, you're gonna say yes with all these expectations. And boy, if you wanna get to disappointment, start with a handful of expectations, and you'll get there sooner than you realize.
Let your yes be yes and your no be no. The more that you do things with all these pretenses behind them, the more that you do things to make people happy, you fall into the unconscious performance. You know what, I've been living day after day trying to make sure to keep the peace all around me, trying to make sure the family's taken care of, trying to make sure I don't let down my church or my school or my community. And so now, putting on a mask is natural. Not only do I brush my teeth in the morning, but I slap on my mask and I go out in the world ready to be whoever the world needs me to be.
Well, guess what? The world needs you to be you.
Because you bring something that no one else can bring. And as long as you're trying hard to look like me or sound like him or do what she does, then we're not getting you. We're not getting that authentic, God-created individual that has a very beautiful purpose and task right here and right now.
And we can't see it, we can't explore it, we can't be a part of it if you choose to hide it behind a mask. The more that we continue to perform, and like I said, some of us have been doing it for so long, we're not even aware, the more it becomes second nature. We don't even realize we're wearing a mask. And slowly but surely, we disconnect from our true selves. Slowly but surely, we end up in superficial relationships. And slowly but surely, we become exhausted.
I don't know how many of you are feeling this in the elderly range. I'm not gonna define that range, I'm just gonna say in the elderly range. But I have had probably over a handful of people in the past year come to me, some from the congregation, some not, and explain that they don't even know what they believe anymore. They don't even know who they are. They know they were raised with this, but now when they look at the world, they look at the media, the news, when they look at the churches, they don't know what to do.
Some of the people that I've talked to are still holding on to labels and messages that came from how they were brought up. And they're in their 70s, they're in their 80s, and now they're saying, why is this happening now? And how do I work through this? What does my faith even mean when I look out at society and all these things are happening? So many times when I take prayer requests, I have people say, pray for our country. Not only do they not know what's going on in their country and how it can be helped, they're not sure where they even stand.
Whether it's politics, whether it's religions, whether it's relationships, whether it's what's trending out there in social media, people are confused, people are tired, and people are done throwing on multiple masks, trying to see where they can be accepted and fit in today.
It becomes exhausting. It occurred to me when I was in Warrensburg that I spend a lot of time trying to maintain this masculine facade. Because in ministry, at one point in time, I'd look around and I would notice there's a lot more men ministers than women. And a lot of these men were my mentors. I looked up to them. I had great respect for them.
So it was like, “Okay, I gotta be cute Gina, but I gotta have whatever it is those men have.” And I remember once talking to a psychologist and he even said to me, “You do realize you are not a six-foot three man in this world, don't you?” Wow, and I don't even get caught up in that stuff, which anyone who knows me knows that. I don't even care about this whole women this and men that. But I would look at these men who were my mentors, my elders, and think to myself, “Okay, all right, there's a part of me that's just gotta be tough. It has to tap into my masculine energy so people will respect me.”
I had a good friend say, “Gina, do you ever wonder how many times you're treated different because you're a woman?” I'm like, “Actually, no. But now that you brought it out, I'll think about it for about five seconds here. Okay, great, I'm done now.”
But the point is, we will start to put expectations on ourselves based on all the roles we have to fit into. The minute I had a coach help me release that one, my preaching changed, my demeanor changed, even the way I was carrying myself changed. Because I was no longer wearing this mask that I have to look and sound and be educated this way in order to be a good preacher. I can just bring Gina, I can just be me, tap into the Holy Spirit that is me, and share that energy and that gift that is mine, thank God. It's amazing.
The other side is the world's expectations.
In Galatians 1:10, it says: Obviously, I'm not trying to win the approval of people but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ's servant.
Isn't that funny? “Obviously, I'm not trying to win the approval of people.”
B.S. How many of us are constantly running around trying to win the approval of people? And if that's something that you're guilty of, then I wanna encourage you, let that go. You guys remember Jesus? He was one awesome man. He was an amazing gift to us all.
And I'm talking about his human existence right now. As he walked through the streets, teaching, preaching, healing, he wasn't afraid of who he kept company with. He wasn't afraid of what other people thought because his message was true and genuine and came from a place of love.
So much to the point where the authorities were afraid of him, where the religious leaders didn't know what to do with him. So much to the point where he went to the cross instead of a murderer because he was so intimidating, so threatening, because he was an icon of what? Love, truth, peace, fighting for the underdog. That was Jesus.
You see, the world's expectations around us, we believe we have no choice but to perform. But that is a lie. We have the power to break out of the world's standards.
We have the power to be free from those masks and expectations. And all it takes is saying, I'm going to be my authentic self. I'm gonna show up 100% me.
And when you think about atonement, if you break down the word atonement, it's at-one-ment. If you can say to yourself, I'm always gonna show up 100% and try and recognize each and every moment, my complete alignment with the source of all creation, with God. If you can do that, then you can look out at others the same way.
When I see you, I am gonna see your highest, most beautiful self, no matter what you have out here. Because I know that's who you are, and I'm gonna ask you to do the same for me. And that's what we try to do.
Or do we? Maybe we like going through the mask. But my encouragement to you would be to recognize who you are and the fullness of who you are. And go out into the world displaying that, being that person.
In Luke 12, 1 through 3, it says: Watch yourselves carefully, so you don't get contaminated with Pharisee yeast, Pharisee phoniness. You can't keep your true self hidden forever. Before long, you'll be exposed. You can't hide behind a religious mask forever. Sooner or later, the mass will slip and your true face will be known. You can't whisper one thing in private and preach the opposite in public. The day is coming when those whispers will be repeated all over town.
You see, with the world's expectations, we believe that something is always expected of us, which may very well be true by the world's expectations. But we have a choice in the matter.
And if we choose to continue to let things cause us to hide, what is that Pharisee yeast in your life? What is that thing that is in your life, that is hounding you, that is whispering in your ear, that's causing you to feel that you can't be who you are? What is that thing, that voice in your head that's saying, no, you can't share this part of you, no, you can't be a part of that group, no, you can't take on this new task? Because if you do any of that, you may be rejected. You may not be good enough. You may not meet the world's expectations, or your family's expectations, or your church's expectations.
Whatever it is, identify it and break free from it. And that's one of the most important pieces, that if you want to shatter this performance paradox that we've all been caught up in for so long, you need to acknowledge your mask.
John Maxwell, he's a great business leader and also considers himself to be a Christian man. I love his teachings, because as he's teaching business, he always incorporates Biblical teachings. And for those who might be like, oh, no, the Bible, taboo, he does it in such a way that even some of the most educated entrepreneurs out there, those who are greatly successful, are listening to his teachings, are following his lead.
He talks about blind spots, how we all have them. And sometimes, the only way we're going to know what's in our blind spot is to ask a friend, is to ask a trusted friend or family member. As you're looking to recognize your fears, your insecurities, and to break out of performance mode, don't be afraid to ask a friend. Maybe that friend is your spouse, maybe that friend is one of your children, maybe that friend is a family member. Don't be afraid to go and ask that question. Can you help me identify those places where I'm not being true to myself? Can you help me remove these masks of inauthenticity?
Another thing to do when you're breaking free is to embrace vulnerability. You know, there's a lot of times where someone genuinely wants to know, how are you doing? And if for just a moment, you can stop being busy, you can stop feeling like a burden, you can stop thinking that if I share how I'm doing, it's going to change the whole world, and just share.
How are you doing? Sometimes, creating that space for others by saying, “Hey, how are you doing? I mean it, how are you doing? Is there anything I can do for you? Is there any way I can pray for you?”
Try it. Yeah, it might cut into your schedule a little bit longer. You might have to spend a couple more minutes being there for someone. But boy, the minute you offer that space, you're now offering them to take off their mask. You're now offering them to share something that might be really deep inside of them, causing them sleepless nights, tension, and fear.
When you can create those spaces and be in those things, it makes a world of difference. God created us to be in the fullness of who we are, to be authentically and proudly his children. It's one thing we may not be able to claim our earthly fathers every other day due to different reasons, but our father in heaven, as we call him, that is a character, that is a being, that is a love that I am proud to claim.
If I could walk around and say, “hey, I'm just like my father in heaven.” Wow. And so recognizing that there are going to be days, there are going to be situations, there are going to be physical feelings in our body that make us think, “Nah, not today, I'm not. Today, nope, not feeling it, not feeling empowered, not feeling Christ-like, not feeling energetic.” Well, it's okay. Don't throw on a mask.
Instead, recognize that you are always that amazing, that whole, that just beautiful person who is a child of God. And maybe you don't always feel it. Those are the days that I'm telling you to embrace the vulnerability, cut out the facades, and go out into the world as you are. You might realize that there's a lot of people in that same situation. As you offer someone a space to have a good day, you might realize that you were just as much in need of that.
And let it be about that, because the performance paradox is just a prison that we've constructed. And we are free. We are free.
As spiritual beings in this human experience, we are free. As a beautiful, perfect creation of God, we are free. As world changers, as visionaries, as teachers, as leaders.
I want to encourage you today, choose to unmask yourself. Choose to embrace your true identity and choose to live a life that's so authentic and vulnerable and free that someone is coming up to you and saying, “Wow, how do you do that? I want to be a part of that too.”
Please pray with me.
Our Almighty God, we give you thanks for your word. We give you thanks that you are constantly reminding us that there is so much more to us. We give you thanks that your spirit is constantly empowering us to be our highest selves, to go beyond the boundaries that the world has set before us.
We give you thanks, God, that even in those moments where things seem hopeless, you give us strength and courage. And so God help us, help us to embrace the fullness of who we are. Help us to let down the mask and to walk boldly in the face of Christ Jesus.
For that is who we are. It's in Jesus name we pray. Amen.
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